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🧑 나영길 | 📅 2013-11-25 13:30:14 | 👀 1069

1. Husband vs Wife

Husband: Do you know the meaning of WIFE?
It means, Without Information, Fighting Everytime!

Wife: No darling, it means,
With Idiot For Ever

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Wife: I wish I was a newspaper, So I'd be in your hands all day.
Husband: I too wish that you were a newspaper,
So I could have a new one everyday.
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Doctor: Your husband needs rest and peace. Here are some sleeping pills.
Wife: When must I give them to him?
Doctor: They are for you
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Wife: I had to marry you to find out how stupid you are.
Husband: You should have known it the minute
I asked you to marry me.
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Husband: Today is Sunday & I have to enjoy it.
So I bought 3 movie tickets.
Wife: Why Three?
Husband: For you and your parents
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Q: What is the most effective way to remember your wife's birthday?
A: Just forget it once and you will never forget it again

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After a quarrel, a wife said to her husband,
You know, I was a fool when I married you.

The husband replied, "Yes dear, but I was in love and didn't notice

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2. Delicious Dish

A boy takes a girl for a date.

She orders costly champagne, oysters, lobsters etc.
Boy asks: "Do you eat like this at your mom's house?
Girl says:

"No! because my mom doesn't plan to fuck me later.

3. 점점 없어지는 세상이 무엇 일까요? 한번 보세요.

Phones ~ Wireless
Cooking ~ Fireless
Cars ~ Keyless
Food ~ Fatless
Tyres ~ Tubeless
Dress ~ Sleeveless
Youth ~ Jobless
Leaders ~ Shameless
Relationships ~ Meaningless
Attitude ~ Careless
Wives ~ Fearless
Babies ~ Fatherless
Feelings ~ Heartless
Education ~ Valueless
Children ~ Mannerless
Everything is becoming Less,

but still our Hopes are Endless.

4. What Do I Look Like?

A newlywed couple moves into their new house. One day the husband comes home from work and his wife says, "Honey, you know, in the upstairs bathroom one of the pipes is leaking, could you fix it?"

A couple moves into to a new home. After a few days, as the husband returns home from work, his wife says to him, "Honey, one of the pipes in the bathroom is leaking, could you fix it?"

"What do I look like, a plumber?" Asks the husband, and goes to sleep.

A few days later, the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "honey, my car doesn't start, I think it may need a new battery, could you change it for me?".

"What do I look like, a mechanic?" asks the husband with a frown.

A week goes by, and the wife once again turns to her husband and says, "Dear, the roof is leaking, could you do something about it?"

"What do I look like, a roofer?" asks the husband. "Take care of these things yourself!"

He then leaves home for a week on a business trip. "When I come back," he says to his wife, "I'd like all these things taken care of."

He comes back a week later and is astonished to discover the roof is fixed, the car is running and the pipes are brand new.

"Great! How much is that going to cost me?" he snarls at his wife.

"Nothing at all." said the wife. "The neighbor popped in and turns out he's a

handyman, he said he'd fix the whole thing if I just bake him a cake, or sleep with him."

"Wow," said the husband. "What kind of cake did you

make him?"

"What do I look like," exclaims the wife, "a baker?"

5. A nasty woman!

A very loud, unattractive, mean, nasty woman walked into Wal-Mart with her two kids, yelling obscenities at them all the way through the entrance. The Wal-Mart Greeter said pleasantly "Good morning and welcome to Wal-Mart. Nice children you have there. Are they twins?"

The ugly woman stopped yelling long enough to say, "Hell no they ain’t. The oldest one's 9 and the other one's 7. Why the hell would you think they're twins? Are you blind, or just stupid?"

"I'm neither blind nor stupid, Ma'am," replied the greeter. "I just couldn't believe someone would fuck you twice...

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